In my work experience to develop leaders and teams, quite often I come across people questioning me how they can become more effective leaders by separating emotions from rationality.
I wish there was some Cartesian view of the human body and mind in which things are separate and divisible; each operating in its own realm. Unfortunately, life is not like that; a human body is not like that; leadership is not like that. In reality, humans are not purely rational (Bloom, 2008; Pinker, 1997; Tversky & Kahneman, 1986), utilitarian beings as some economists argue; thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are an intricate triad tied in a feedback loop (Peterson, 2006; Beck, 1967); emotions and how we frame problems impact our decisions (Tversky & Kahneman, 1986). In light of these points, it is crucial for leaders to understand their own biases and prejudices, their mental models (Kofman, 2006), their gut reactions, their behavior tendencies, and, henceforth, the initial step in becoming better leaders inevitably will involve self-awareness and the capacity to transform the subjective into objective (Kegan, 1982). Leaders of the world, get to know yourselves.
And knowing yourself starts by knowing how some aspects of psychology permeate human beings in general. We are not as rational as we think we are.
First, without emotions humans cannot prioritize tasks; humans cannot engage in relationships; humans do have the drive to satiate their hunger to remain alive (Bloom, 2008; Pinker, 1997). Cognition (thoughts), feelings (physiological responses and emotions), and behaviors work together and feed back each other (Peterson, 2006; Beck, 1967). Current research on emotions shows that the cognitive label that we give to a certain stimulus and physical reaction determines the emotion we experience (Schachter & Singer, 1962). Emotions influence our decisions. Anger, for instance, leads to “more optimistic risk estimates and choices, whereas fear leads to more pessimistic risk estimates and choices” (Lerner & Keltner, 2001 as in Ming-Hong & Young, 2010, p 963). Emotions inform us of what is more important, what to prioritize, what to do.
How come? That is impossible, you might say. “I am so rational; I am always able to separate my emotions to make an informed decision.” If you think like that, think and feel again. Thought, feelings, and behavior constitute an intricate feedback loop, which is my second point.
To make it clear, imagine yourself lying on your bed at 3 A.M. in the morning when you hear a strange sound. If you happen to have a dog and attribute the sound to a movement of your dog inside the house, chances are that you will feel calm and relaxed, thinking, “oh, it is just the dog”, and will turn on your belly and get back to sleep. If, however, you attribute the sound to someone being inside your house, a burglar maybe, chances are that you will feel fear and will likely get your body ready for a fight or flight response. Without emotions, there is not behavioral response and deciding whether to fight or flee becomes a daunting task. It is the cognitive label addressed to a specific situation that generates an emotion, which in turns prepares a behavioral response (Beck, 1967). Thoughts, however, are not alone in determining the reaction chain of feelings and behaviors. Changing behaviors and body posture can have a major influence of how you perceive yourself and how you feel about yourself (Cuddy, 2012). In the end, the three components – thoughts, feelings, and emotions – walk together and separating them is as effective as separating the circulatory system of a human body, i.e. apart from studying and understanding how they interact, in practical terms we cannot separate them or the consequences will be grim to say the least.
Third, if humans were that rational as some economists argue, equivalent decisions would be taken equally regardless of the way the problem was framed and presented. In a study that awarded Kahneman the Nobel Prize of 2002, Tversky & Kahneman (1986) showed that the framing of choices had a tremendous impact on decision making even when alternatives were equivalent. We are more averse to losses than we are prone to gains. Putting it in another way, our personal biases influence the decisions we make. In a way, we all wear glasses that we use to look at the world around us (Kofman, 2006) and such glasses define the reality we see. The problem is that most of the time we are not even aware of the glasses that we are wearing. Humans tend to interpret evidence in partial ways, conforming to existing beliefs, expectations, and hypotheses (Nickerson, 1998). If that is true, how can leaders be rational and take impartial decisions? Is it possible at all?
Maybe not, but it is never impossible to realize our own biases, our own motivations, our own drives, our own tendencies. And that is why is so important to understand and look at ourselves. As Kegan (1982) offers, personal development involves being able to emerge from our “embeddedness” – to realize the assumptions that surround us most of the time, as if were fish in water getting away from it for the first time to realize we are wet (Funder, 2012) – transforming what is subjective and unseen into something objective and seen – then, and only then, can we start working on the things we need to work on. By gaining self-awareness and better understanding our predispositions and biases, we can then own our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. No longer are we they, but rather we now have them in a transitory possession. The leader who is self-aware no longer will be the decision she makes, but rather will have an opinion about a topic. Under this new light, of self-knowledge and self-awareness, criticism becomes lighter; mistakes become chances to learn; emotions become part of the decision process rather than a tumor to be extirpated. No longer am I my mistakes; I make them. No longer am I my opinion; I have it.
Not surprisingly, the trait approach to leadership puts integrity – the responsibility for one’s actions – as one of the main characteristics of leaders (Northouse, 2013). Only when I own something can I be responsible for it; only when I realize what is going on with me can I start working on such a thing.
If there is one thing I can offer you - and for being an offer, you can either accept or refuse it, no hard feelings - here it is: the initial step in becoming a better leader involves knowing yourself. Regardless of theoretical orientation and whether you think leaders are born or made, if you become self-aware you cut loose from a fixed mindset and put yourself in a growing mindset (Dweck, 2006 as in Chase, 2010), i.e. you look at yourself not as a static being or leader, but rather as someone who is capable to use nature and nurture to adapt and change.
There is no better or worse trait that makes a leader as long as you remain aware of the glasses you wear and question those around you about the glasses they wear. The better you know your emotions and biases, the easier you can make effective decisions.
References
Bloom, P. (2008). Evolution, emotion, and reason: Emotions, part I [Yale Open Course. ITunes U. Web. June 2012]. Retrieved from http://oyc.yale.edu/psychology/psyc-110>
Chase, M. (2010). Should coaches believe in innate ability? The importance of leadership mindset. Quest, 62(3), 296-307. Retrieved from dx.doi.org/10.1080/00336297.2010.10483650
Cuddy, A. (2012). Your body language shapes who you are [ Video on TED.com]. Retrieved from http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html
Funder, D. C. (2012). Personality puzzle. S.l.: W W Norton.
Kofman, F. (2006). Conscious business: How to build value through values. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.
Ming-Hong, T., & Young, M. J. (2010). Anger, fear, and escalation of commitment. Cognition & Emotion, 24(6), 962-973. doi:10.1080/02699930903050631
Nickerson, R. S. (1998). Confirmation bias: A ubiquitous phenomenon in many guises. Review of General Psychology, 2(2), 175-220.
Northouse, P. G. (2013). Leadership: Theory and practice. Thousand Oaks, Calif: Sage.
Peterson, C. (2006). A primer in positive psychology. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
Pinker, S. (1997). How the mind works. New York: Norton.
Schachter, S., & Singer, J. (1962). Cognitive, social, and physiological determinants of emotional state. Psychological Review, 69(5), 379-399. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/h0046234
Tversky, A., & Kahneman, D. (1986). Rational choice and the framing of decisions. The Journal of Business, 59(4), s251-s278.
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